...:::The Legal, the Emotional and the Medical Side:::... 



 
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The Legal, the Emotional and the Medical Side

1. The Legal Situation

Bondage should only happen between two people 
both consenting to the experience voluntarily and knowing fully what they are doing. 
The safety rules are a must of course. 
The consent of your partner can be given verbal or non-verbal 
(for example by putting out the wrists for tying up), but it should always be explicit. 
If you are not sure whether your partner 
consents to being tied or not, just ask him or her. 
Without consent a bondage session legally means unlawful detention. 
If, furthermore, you then have sex with your partner 
during such a session it becomes sexual duress or rape. 
If damage to the body is caused, like bruises or nerve irritation, 
it is actual bodily harm (ABH) as well.

Safety Codes

Bondage is a joyful game for both. 
To keep in a kind of emotional contact all the time 
the active partner has to know how to communicate with the passive partner, 
and the victim muct have a chance to communicate 
his or her state via unambiguous signals.
In the non-commercial SM subculture there is a 
whole range of codes and safety words. 
You should know them even if you only like bondage 
and don't want anything to do with the scene.
Especially when words like "please don't" or "no" are part of the game, 
it's all the more important that there are some 
signs which can't be misinterpreted.
On the one hand there are stop codes; 
they can be a certain word as well as a certain signal. 
In the German subculture the most often used word is "mayday"; 
but other words like "marmalade" or "circus" are possible as well. 
The main thing is that it is a word that doesn't 
get over your lips by accident because it's unusual somehow; 
it should be easy enough to pronounce as well, though. 
If you broaden your bondage game so that the passive partner 
is gagged there should be a certain sign 
meaning the game has to stop at once.
Because a stop code is something the passive partner 
has to use actively while there are some situations 
where he or she is no longer able to do this 
(during an emotional crash for example or because he/she 
belongs to the kind of person who just can't say no) 
confirmation codes have been developed. 
This can be a kiss returned, an exchange of glances, or the answer yes 
to the question whether everything is all right.

Then there is a third category of safe words for fine adjustment. 
To this category we count the stoplight code: 
Green for more, go on; 
yellow for less, go on a bit softer;
red for stop, I need a short break. 
There can be individual alternatives to this.
In any case you should agree on the kind and meaning 
of the safe words beforehand to avoid misunderstanding.

2. Emotional Security

During a bondage game or scene emotional crashes may occur, 
like with any other kind of very intensive experience. 
Maybe some unpleasant and seemingly forgotten memory comes back. 
Because of this the active partner should know that 
it may be that suddenly he is confronted with a crying, 
very sad, or even screaming or in some other way, negatively reacting partner. 
There is no question that the active partner then has to 
free his or her partner immediately and has to be there for him/her, 
look after him/her and ready to talk, 
to try to get over the nasty experience 
(as far as it is possible to do this by just talking). 
This emotional security is one of the absolute prerequisites 
for a trustful bondage game. 
It's the safety net the "victim" can let itself fall into, 
in the sure knowledge that it will be held.

A sentence like "I am not your therapist" in such a situation 
is more than counterproductive. 
When someone isn't willing and ready to get emotionally 
involved he should not get involved in bondage games! 
A bondage session is no one-night stand.
The most important rule after a session had to be stopped 
should be to have patience and time, and not to apportion blame. 
Just the strain this puts on a relationship can be a chance, too, 
to develop even more mutual trust. 
Of course it's much better to steer clear of what 
triggers such a crash, however much you like to do it, 
if you know what it is.

Even without a crash and when everything has gone fine 
and both partners are satisfied and relaxed, the situation 
should slowly die down with an exchange of views 
about the session just over. 
(How was it for you when I put the rope around your hips 
so tightly? What were you thinking when I closed my eyes 
while you were tying up my hands?). 
After all, when the session has been very good, intensive 
and fulfilling you will want to repeat it. 
Only through the feedback we get from our partner we can learn to 
get even better and incorporate variations in future routines.

3. The Medical Side

The following remarks aren't meant to scare people off, 
but to show you how to prevent accidents during bondage.

Generally one can say that any spot where you can feel 
the pulse of a person cannot stand direct pressure. 
Especially dangerous, for obvious reasons, are throat and neck. 
You must not ever put a rope around the neck. 

If the neck is involved in some other kind of tying up 
you should be aware that there is a tug forward 
to a pressure lateral to the neck vein. 
Especially when the passive partner is standing up 
or suspended this may lead to the CVS reflex (Carotis Sinus Vein reflex), 
which in turn leads so immediate unconsciousness.
If this happens you should remove all bondage utensils at once, 
especially those around the neck and the upper body 
(if necessary with the bandage scissors, the strap cutter
 or the package tape cutter lying ready - knives aren't 
suitable for this because of their sharp unprotected blade, 
but in an emergency you can use them, too), 
put the person's legs up, fill a towel with ice cubes or 
wet it with cold water at least and put it against the neck. 

If your partner is unconscious for more than a few seconds 
you should put him/her in the stable lateral position 
and call the emergency services at once or the resident 
first aider if you are in a club.
If the pressure to the neck isn't removed at once your partner may die. 
(The danger is greater when a person ties him-/herself up; 
because then no-one is there to help in case of fainting.)

Other places particularly at risk are the armpits, 
the inner upper arm, the inner wrist and the upper part 
of the rather sensitive thumb tendon 
(when using handcuffs you should always push the engaging 
safety device, and when tying up the wrist with a 
rope the hands should be laid together with the palms), 
the inner elbow, the groin, the back of the knees and the Achilles' tendon. 
In these places you often find arteries, sensitive tendons and lymph vessels. 
To reduce the pressure you can pad the ropes with 
foam rubber, sweat bands or towels.
A large knot on a otherwise not too tight rope can also 
lead to problems at the tender places of the body.

With bondage while standing up, particularly when the arms 
are outstretched, or supension bondage with the head upwards, 
there can be circulation problems. 
People with low blood pressure or tall people tend to have such problems. 
Therefore you have to take care that the tied up 
person can't collapse uncontrolled. 
If you know about existing circulation problems you should 
tie your partner up in the sitting position or lying down. 
Indications for such problems are: 
Paleness, cold sweat all over the body, flat - barely perceptible breathing, 
reduced responsiveness 
(that's the reason why maybe the necessary negative feedback is missing). 
What you must do is the same as with SCV reflex;
 see above - free your partner, put his/her legs up; 
maybe put your partner in the stable lateral position.

Circulatory problems may - intentionally or unintentionally - 
occur in tied limbs, too. 
A short-term congestion of blood in the vessels may sometimes 
be quite exciting - for example in the penis -, 
but this can lead to problems rather quickly. 
(For people with disposition for varicose veins, for example, 
such a build up of blood may lead to a worsening or 
even to real varicose veins. 
In the worst case even a vescular obstruction is possible, 
so you should take care NEVER to pull the rope too tight 
around the legs when there are varicose veins.) 
Indications for blood congestion are a blue discolouration 
of the skin, cool skin, a numb feeling, the feeling 
of pins and needles or prickling. 
Measures: Immediate untying of the rope, a soft massage of the limb. 
If varicose veins develop a visit to the doctor.
Now a few remarks to the ligature of the penis and/or testicles: 
There are quite a few men who like it. 
The ligature or tying up of the penis 
(for example with a tight cockring or another exotic 
toy from the sex shop reduces the backflow of 
the blood and so can lead to a longer lasting erection.) 
That's the aim in most cases, and it can be very exciting. 
If the ligature lasts too long, however, it can be rather painful. 
The decision when to remove the tie depends 
upon the needs of the tied up person.

Some men like it, many women hate it: The ligature of the breasts. 
The tight wrapping of the breasts with rope or elastic 
sensitises the skin of the breasts and the nipples. 
At the same time the pressure to the glands can be extremely painful, 
and the consequences can be absolutely unerotic and 
distressing irritations of the glands can be immensely protracted. 
Some women do have an aesthetical problem with tied up breasts; 
especially when they begin to go blue because of the congestion. 
A good active should show consideration.

To tie up someone nakedly in a chilly room is unsuitable. 
With women this may lead not only to a bad cold but 
to a cystitis as well or even worse. 
Because a bondage session is often very exciting 
some victims loose the feeling for the temperature 
and don't notice when they are freezing. 
So it's the responsibility of the active part to take care 
of adequate heating and check whether the 
victim is all right in that department. 
Even when for the eye it's not the most pleasant of 
sights sometimes it's quite useful to 
put on some ski socks or leg warmers. 
To keep the shoes on can prevent cystitis, too. 
Attention: If you use a fan heater you should never put it 
less than at least one metre away from the tied up person.

Something that is often done because it's so much fun is tying 
a person up and then fucking her senseless on the carpet. 
Because of the movement, though, 
this may lead to unpleasant burns on the back of the person below. 
A padding like a sheet or a blanket is a better idea.
With bondage over a longer time - for example letting 
someone sleep the whole night while still tied up immovable - 
may develop bruises or even sores. 
This can be the case when the person is lying on a 
padding which doesn't absorb sweat. 
It can be prevented by allowing him/her to sometimes 
change positions and by not using your favourite rubber sheet.
Abrazions should be disinfected and then dressed with a 
suitable medical dressing. 
Superficial bruises you can treat with a cooling ointment.

Generally you should bear in mind that the ropes change the 
kind of pressure they put on the body with any movement. 
So you have to check the tightness of the ropes regularly.
Some kinds of bondage force the body into unnatural postures, 
which may lead to overstretching and straining of muscles and joints. 
With elbow bondage this maybe happen extremely fast 
with symptoms of pulled tendons or muscle or 
even an irritated articular capsule. 
Measures: Hot pack, hot baths and ointments giving off heat. 
If the trouble lasts longer a visit to the doctor is necessary.

Someone "just" trying to repeat japanese bondage 
like he has seen people so easily doing in 
a movie may be confronted with the problem of a dislocated shoulder joint. 
In such a case an ice bag should immediately be put on the shoulder 
to prevent severe swelling and to make the setting possible. 
Everything else should only be done by an emergency doctor.
The models in bondage movies and copies are professionals knowing 
exactly the limits of their bodies. 
So you should always be careful when repeating 
something you have seen somewhere else.

If you have tied your partner in full body harnesses 
and/or some form of Shibari and you wish to then tether 
your partner to a fixed object (a pole or wall ring) 
you should make sure that the rope tethering your partner 
to the fixed object can be cut quickly and safely in the 
case of fire or some such other emergency where 
evacuation of the building is neccessary. 
Your partner will not mind standing outside naked and 
bound as opposed to tied to a burning 
building without the chance of escape.

The feedback of the passive part should 
ALWAYS be taken seriously. 
Something one person can stand without a 
problem may be unbearable for the next. 
You as the active part are not tied up, so you 
can't know what exactly is happening inside the 
mind and body of your partner; 
even if you do have some experience with 
bondage yourself as a passive part.
If despite all the precaution and control a nerve 
irritation or even contusion occurs, because the rope or 
the handcuffs have been to tight the place should 
immediately be cooled with an icebag. 
Nerve irritations can be quite unpleasant and lead to numbness 
in the fingers sometimes lasting several days or even weeks.



You may think that this has been a kind of horror catalogue 
for potential nasty consequences of bondage but you have to 
pay attention to the fact that bondage 
is the kind of sexual practice where the most small accidents occur. 
Mostly they result only in a slight abrazion or a slightly irritated nerve, 
but even this can in most cases be 
prevented by a bit of precaution.
By the way, bondage is no protection against contagious 
venereal diseases, so safer sex is indispensable here, too. 
Particularly when someone can't defend oneself it's a serious 
breach of trust to have sex with him/her without agreement and without condoms.

Bondage games can be a great source of fun and sexual satisfaction 
id these simple but obvious rules are remembered and used. 
Have fun and enjoy! 


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Sexually Transmitted Infections

Basic First Aid Tips


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